BREATH, EYES, MEMORY.

Breath, Eyes, Memory is a book I read for my African American literature class, which talks about the struggle of the women in the Caco family. They lived in Haiti, and were all victims of abuse, trying to free themselves from the cycle, from their nightmares. One of the main characters of the book, Martine, did have a chance to start anew. She had a chance to go to America, the "Land of the Free" to free herself from her nightmares since being raped. However, she wasn't able to break free from it. Her daughter, who went to America to meet her struggled too, and eventually broke away from the cycle, while her mother chose death. Why is it that one could overcome and one couldn't?

Something I read this morning answered the question. "We need more than a new start, we need a new heart!" God has been merciful, and has given me many chances, but I keep making the same mistakes. Why? Because even though the situation or circumstance may be different, but approaching it with the same heart, I make the same mistakes. Therefore, I'm stuck in a vicious cycle.

The walk in Christian faith comes with letting God clean out your heart. It sounds relatively easy, but it's actually difficult because it means surrendering our control over our life. You're telling God, "Take away my old ways, I don't want to be stuck in this cycle. I can't change on my own. Please take me and change me!" Who in the right mind will want to let a person from the bible(which you aren't even sure of its authenticity) take control of his/her life, right? Why should I trust God when I can't even see Him, you might ask. This is where faith comes in! A great line from a movie says "Seeing is not believing, but believing is seeing". Only with faith, you witness God's miracles, and you receive joy overflowing.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Psalm 51:10-12