“Blessed
are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him.” – Psalm 128:1
The Story
On August 24, 2019, I went for my annual medical screening
thinking that it would be just like all the other 8 years I have done it - I
would be very healthy and there would be absolutely nothing for me to worry
about. Little did I know…
During my medical examination at the health screeners, my very
grumpy doctor said to me that my breasts were very lumpy, so she sent me over
to another area of the clinic to get an ultrasound. I waited for quite some
time nervously and it was finally my turn. The technician did a scan and I
heard her take some pictures during the scan; I wondered if something was
really wrong. I asked her questions at the end, but she said she would not be
able to discuss the results with me and that I would have to wait to discuss it
with the doctor. When she stepped out for me to get dressed, I looked at the
computer monitor and saw that she took 13 screenshots for me while for others
she took many more and I wondered if that was a good sign. Still, I was very
worried and I was sent home and told that I had to wait 4-5 weeks for my
results to be sent to me.
I do not remember the wait very clearly as it is all a blur now,
except that I felt this heavy weight on me – I was feeling very down and I let
my thoughts run wild. "Life will never be the same anymore", “I’m not
the same anymore!”, "Do I even want to date (I was on a dating app at that
time)? I don't feel like the same person anymore and there’s too much on my
mind", "Will another person accept me for who I am?" and so on
and so forth.
Right after the medical screening, I met up with my friend Nic,
who does health insurance. I was supposed to meet him to purchase insurance many
moons ago, but I kept putting it off because to me it was not something urgent.
He shared the grim reality with me that if anything was found, no one will
insure me for that specific issue. I was really upset at myself and deeply
regretted not getting insurance prior to my health screen as I may now have to
pay for whatever issue it is out of pocket (my company insurance is very
basic). I did feel like God kept
reminding me to go get insurance through various means ever since I got my job
and I felt this strong sense of urging to go get it done many times, BUT I put
it off and never acted upon it because it was not a priority for me. There
were many "if onlys", but it was all too late.
The Journey
During the what ended up to be an 8 week wait for my health
screening results, I went through many emotional ups and downs. I was initially
really upset at myself and felt a little hopeless about the situation. I told
my BSF leader, my CG, my close friends, my boss, and a few of my Christian
coworkers about it, so that they would all pray for me!! I knew I desperately
needed prayer/a miraculous intervention. I even went for a healing session
where this very sweet lady prayed for me. My mind thought through all the
possible worse case scenarios to mentally prep myself for what may come. I felt
really down for quite sometime, but also at some point (perhaps I finished “grieving”),
I also accepted the fact that whatever happens happens and God is in control.
He will not abandon me or forsake me, and if anything happens, He will help me
and provide for me. To clarify, I was not suddenly infused with a shot of
faith; the calm only came from daily wrestling and crying out to God and
surrendering the situation to Him. And it was not as though that at the point
of me accepting it the heavy weight went away completely and I had so much
faith in God. It was still a struggle, but I had a teeny bit of faith and
assurance from God that it would all be okay.
On October 21, 2019, I called the health screeners because I still
did not receive my results. It turns out that they forgot to send it to me!!
They emailed it to me after I gave them a call, and my heart was pounding as I
tried to open the PDF. I could not breathe! So there it was – I had a 3mm cyst
in my left breast with septations. I made an appointment to discuss the results
with a doctor at the health screener, and she basically told me that a cyst
with septations is a “naughty” one, which means that I need to go back every 3
months for an ultrasound to make sure it does not worsen, or she could refer me
to see a breast specialist. I picked the latter because Nic said that I
ultimately needed a memo from a doctor for insurance purposes. The breast
specialist was fully booked in that same week, so I had to wait to see her
after my trip to New York, on November 16, 2019. Thank God I met the breast
specialist because the doctors at the health screeners, I realize, keep scaring
me (either they are unethical and want me to pay for extra scans or they are
incompetent and do not know what they are doing). When I saw the breast
specialist, she looked at my report and told me that I had absolutely nothing
to worry about!! She said that it was a 2.5mm cyst, and it is very common for
women to have cysts and they come and go. It was not as dire as the first and
second doctor at the health screeners made it out to be. She then did another
ultrasound on me that day and lo and behold the cyst was gone!!! I was and am
so so soooo super grateful to God and also to everyone who prayed for me about
the cyst! It really was a miracle :) She gave me a positive report so that I
can go ahead and purchase health insurance.
The lesson I learned here
is that if I ever feel like I am supposed to do something, especially if it is
from God, I need to “just do it”. It really is the best to
obey God! And I am really thankful to God for a second chance. Even though I
did not obey the first time, He gave me a chance (with a clear report) to go
purchase health insurance. If I did that from the beginning though, I would
not have had to spend almost $1,000 out of pocket in medical fees and 3 long months
of waiting and feeling down. It was not a fun experience at all, but I have
learned my lesson.
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